What was the hardest part of being a kid?

The hardest thing for me as a child, I would say was growing up without the discipline that a child should receive when they are young. Some may think I am crazy for saying this but it is true. I was allowed to roam free and do whatever it was that I wanted to do. If I didn't want to go to school then I didn't. If I wanted to go out past 10 pm at night then I did it. I was able to drink alcohol and even smoke marijuana whenever I wanted to. It was like no one cared. I was spiraling out of control and no one would do anything.

I once stole my aunt's car while she was sleeping. Well, I did it more than once. I should say I finally got caught one night and she threatens to call the police on me. What did I do? I went into the bathroom and started putting on makeup and brushing my hair. I told my aunt to let me know when the police got there. To me, it was a call for help and no one was willing to give me the help I needed. I wanted to be punished. At least then it would let me know someone cared. 

I remember in May of 1994, I got into an argument with my 10th-grade science teacher. The argument was over who was allowed to eat in class. Yes, I know it was a silly argument but I didn't care. I never ate in the cafeteria so why not in class. I told the teacher to take his fat ass back to Syria. He told me to get out of his class and go to the office. I quit school that day. Why? Because I knew I would be expelled if I went to the office and be put back in 10th grade again. I was already a year behind due to not attending school. 

A week after dropping out of school I joined the Louisiana National Guard Youth Challenge Program. I think I was the only one that joined freely. Everyone else was court ordered to go. The program was run by the Louisiana National Guard and was held on an actual National Guard base in Pineville, Louisiana. The first two weeks there was hell week. It was just like I had joined the military. For once in my life, I thought I finally found what I have been looking for. I finally got the punishment that I was seeking. It felt good. 

I was in the first class to take the GED and passed with flying colors. I get bored too easily so after taking the test we were able to get "little" jobs outside of the base. It was okay but I prefer to be on base around the military personnel than working with civilians. Once the program was over in December we were allowed to go back home. Something that I did not want to do. I ended up worse than before, still had no discipline at home. 

My grandmother died May of 1995, shortly after returning home. It was like my world just crumbled apart. My depression got worse and I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Why did I have to grow up so fast? 

Dear Future me.....

Dear Future me don't be afraid to take chances. Tell people how you really feel. Be strong and don't allow anything to hurt your feelings, no matter what. You are a beautiful person inside and out. One day you will find Mr. Right. Don't give in to Mr. Wrong. Don't allow anyone else to use your heart as a punching bag and control you as though you are a dog. You are better than that.

What's Your Story

I used to be a writer that wrote on a daily basis for a few different sites. Then sites started closing down one by one and it seems so did my love for writing. I am left with one site called Bubblews and, of course, my blogs as well but it's not the same. When the last writing site closed I felt lost and all alone. This feeling has not left and is still lingering around. Will it ever leave? God I hope so. I do miss writing. I miss it with a passion. But now when I write I feel uncertain about what I write. It's like I'm writing something wrong and that it shouldn't be read by others. 

I end up letting my emotions get the best of me both in the real world and also in the world of writing. Why do I allow this to happen? I know it feels better letting it all out instead of leaving it all in. 

I am uncertain of what the future may hold for me or for my blog. I will continue the best that I can.

What do I blog about?

It has been awhile since I last wrote a blog post so you have to forgive me if I sound a little rusty in this post. A friend of mine has been trying to encourage me to join the 30-day blogging challenge and I eventually gave in and joined the official Facebook page. So I want to thank Trenna for this encouragement.

So, what do I blog about? Most people that own blogs normally have a certain niche that they write about. They might write about how to write an effective blog, how to lose weight, how to clean, or whatever their niche may be. As for me, I write what ever is on my mind at the time I'm writing. That is why I haven't written anything in awhile since I haven't been in the mood to write.

I tend to write about my emotions and things that have happened to me at that present moment. I know to some people this maybe boring but to me it's a way to release any anxiety or help ease my depression at the moment. I might also write about things I have recently learned or products I might have received for free.

Although I might not have a big blog as of now, I plan on expanding the blog in the future.

July Writing Prompts

1. If you were a superhero, what would your powers be?
2. What brings joy into your life?
3. Would you ever want to run for political office? Why or why not?
4. July 4th! Here in the US, this is Independence Day. Tell us what independence means to you.
5. Tell us about your July 4th celebration. Don’t forget the pictures!
6. Write about someone who is a hero to you.
7. What does your blogging schedule look like?
8. How do you conserve energy?
9. National Sugar Cookie Day! Do you have a special cookie recipe or a great idea for sugar cookie decorating?
10. Tell us about your favorite organization and why it is important to you.
11. What motivates you?
12. Tell us about five weekend activities you want to try before the summer ends.
13. What is your favorite color? Tell us why you like that color, or show us how it is represented in your home and wardrobe.
14. Share your favorite recipe that includes blueberries. Don’t forget the yummy pictures!
15. What is your favorite writing tool? Do you only use the computer, or do you still love pen and paper?
16. Take a walk this morning, and tell us what you saw.
17. What is the best prank you have ever pulled?
18. What is your favorite fashion accessory right now?
19. Do you love to fly? Where would you fly right now if you could hop in a plane?
20. National Ice Cream Day! It makes sense to celebrate ice cream during the heat of the summer. What is your favorite way to eat ice cream when you need to cool down?
21. Did you dream of traveling to the moon when you were a kid? Tell us your thoughts on the moon and space travel, or if you are in the mood to be extra creative, write a short story about a moon colony.
22. Do you enjoy sewing? Tell us why or why not, and if you do, share your favorite sewing creation.
23. List five things you can do to brighten up someone’s day.
24. What does courage mean to you?
25. What was the hardest part of being a kid?
26. Tell us about someone you wish you could see again.
27. National Parent’s Day! What is the most important lesson you learned from your parents?
28. What are your rules for courteous cell phone use?
29. What are your favorite quotes?
30. How do you balance life, work, family, and fun?
31. What is the best book you read this month?

Peacefulness

Everyone's idea of peacefulness doesn't necessary mean the same thing, but it pretty much has the same outcome to it. Some find it peaceful to be lost in the country somewhere, just gazing out at an empty field or even looking over a cliff at the ocean below. While others like to get lost in the city lights. 

A person can get lost in peacefulness just by listening to different types of music. I am honored to say that I love to listen to just about anything that has a great rhythm and that includes Classical music. Classical music has been around for years and has even been played in several movies. 

One day I will be able to stand on a cliff and look at the ocean and just be mesmerized at the view. I will have my Beethoven with me, of course, playing this song and helping me stay at peace. 

Secret Clinical Strength Invisible Solid Deodorant

Once again I was able to try a free sample thanks to One2One Network and the people at
stresssweatchallenge.com. The product that I was able to try was really more than one sample. I was given two different deodorants and an Olay product. 

I, personally never thought about trying SecreClinical Strength Invisible deodorant in the past so when I was given the chance I jumped right to it. I am so happy I did. Not only does it go on invisible (it leaves no trace at all) but it also smells really good. I don't have to worry about having to apply it more than once. It lasts all day. 

I was previously using Suave because it was cheaper. Well, after trying this new brand I will no longer use Suave under my arms again.